So lately I've been pondering the way we use language, not in a writerly sense, but in a people sense. I'm fascinated by how we code our intentions into what we say, sometimes sabotaging ourselves without realizing it. The other day I was watching an episode of "The Dog Whisperer", mostly because I ADORE Daddy the pit bull, and I listened to Cesar Millan talking to an owner who said she thought she could walk her dog properly on the leash under his instruction. He just smiled and said, "Don't think. Just do." I was immediately reminded of Yoda. "Do or do not. There is no try." There's a similar scene in "Dead Again" where Kenneth Branagh's character tells Robin Williams he's trying to quit smoking. And Robin Williams' analyst character responds, "There is no try. You are either a smoker or a non-smoker. Figure out which one you are and BE THAT." I could be paraphrasing on that last one a bit, but you get the point. We are so anxious to hedge our bets that we modify the HELL out of our intentions. We kneecap our own determination by "thinking" we can do it or "trying" to do it or "giving it our best shot" instead of just announcing, firmly and with purpose, I WILL. I AM. I HAVE. I've become much more aware of my own lapses into weak and bloodless language, the words that just lie wanly on the sofa, pallid and undemanding. They have no expectations, those words, and they never inspire any acts of greatness. So I move we banish the think, the try, the might. AND WE DO instead.
And a quick note: I have run across a few mentions on the interwebs lately about Silent on the Moor being the last Julia Grey book. I don't know where that particular bit of misinformation hatched from, but I can promise you, it is NOT. The book I'm working on now is outside of the series, but by this summer I will be hard at work on the fourth Julia Grey. Spread the word!
How very right you are, and again, how very timely. :-) A good reminder, and one which I imagine will stick with me.
Just this Tuesday, I was complaining and whinging about everything under the sun to my ever-so-lovely flute teacher, who turned to me and asked, "So, what are you going to do about it?"
She probably thought very little of it, but it struck me as a bit of a wake-up call. Food for thought. I mean, it's one of those things that you /know/, but you need someone to remind you from time to time. Or at least I do.
Posted by: Kaitlin | February 13, 2009 at 04:17 AM
Awesome post! I've used the "yoda-ism" with my son a lot, and with myself. We've turned into a society that fears the commitment of "do", that lives in the washed out land of "maybe". I'd like to think this will change in time, but I am doubtful.
On a happy note, however, I have my copy of "Silent on the Moor" ordered! Can't wait!
Posted by: Elizabeth K | February 13, 2009 at 07:08 AM
You've probably already heard about this, but in case you haven't this is from the All About Romance Buried Treasures: http://www.likesbooks.com/blog/?p=806
" While she did not choose a straight historical romance, Publisher Sandy Coleman did choose a Buried Treasure with a historical setting. With what she describes as “a terrifically realized Victorian setting”, Sandy found Silent in the Sanctuary by Deanna Raybourn to be worthy of a wider readership. In describing the book, she indicates that, “The author expertly mixes the story of Julia’s evolution from widow to confident and assured woman with her own place in the world, with mystery and romance.”
I wish Vermont had billboards, since your books need more attention! Thought I'd share this, and thanks for the wonderful books...Debbie
Posted by: Debbie | February 13, 2009 at 08:12 AM
Whew - good to hear that about Julia Grey! I hadn't heard the rumor, but am delighted nonetheless ^.^
And about your post today: If you don't mind, I would like to make a copy of it and use it (giving credit for the source) in a Spirit Circle I will be doing this Sunday all about living with intent and the power of our words. Would that be okay with you?
I agree with you, and add to the list "I'm gonna," "one day," "if ... then," and "when."
Thanks for the needed reminder ... I'm guilty of sliding into this language of wishy-washy myself, and Yoda's quote is one of my favorite!
Posted by: Journey | February 13, 2009 at 08:57 AM
You are again so right that all I can do is nod in agreement. :-) It is great to be reminded to stop trying and just do it. Thank you!
Posted by: Danja | February 13, 2009 at 09:11 AM
Absolutely, Journey--you're welcome to use it.
Posted by: Deanna | February 13, 2009 at 09:15 AM
It's easy to forget that casual language can influence our intentions and actions. I believe there is some merit in trying, and that failure can be an important part of learning and growth. But I also agree that if we use weak language - especially when discussing subjects about which we feel strongly - we give ourselves subtle permission to wimp out on our goals, our projects, our lives.
As usual, you're spot on, lady.
Posted by: Sal | February 13, 2009 at 09:32 AM
You are so right! I ride horses and after some time off, am working on building myself back up to where I was before I took my break. My instructor tells me at least once per lesson to stop thinking and just do. She'll tell me that I ride better when I do that. But it's o so hard to get into that instinctive frame of mind versus the thinking-too-much, reactive frame of mind. She's right of course but it's still a challenge to remember to think that way.
Posted by: Faith | February 13, 2009 at 10:21 AM
Love this post, and couldn't agree more. Words have so much more power than people think they do. Our own words to/about ourselves say and mean the most, I think.
Oh, and you are the second person I have ever known that has seen Dead Again. My cousin and I had it on VHS in college, and we watched it over and over. I loved it!
Posted by: KimmyDarling | February 13, 2009 at 10:42 AM
I've read that women use a lot more of these 'qualifiers' then men. A woman says "I'll TRY to change my tire" or "MAYBE I will do it...." while a man says "I'm going to change my tire" or "I will do it."
It was quiet eye-opening to think about that as I listen to my own voice.
Posted by: Maeve | February 13, 2009 at 12:18 PM
I wholeheartedly agree, so much time is wasted doubting ourselves. If we would only resolve to do what we set out to do without a doubt in our minds, are goals would be reached!
I love the Yoda quote!
“[Luke:] I can’t believe it. [Yoda:] That is why you fail.”
Have a lovely Friday!
Posted by: Melissa(The Artist) | February 13, 2009 at 01:31 PM
I updated my post about SOTM to state its not the last installment and have linked back to this post if you don't mind...I might have got this impression from an editorial review. I really love this series and look forward to the next book!
http://myobsessionwithbooks.blogspot.com/
Posted by: Nicole | February 13, 2009 at 02:17 PM
Thank you, Deanna! Your contribution to the lesson is just what was needed to round it out. Bright Blessings for your weekend!
Posted by: Journey | February 13, 2009 at 03:24 PM
Deanna, sort of a tangent to your marvelous post about how we subtly sabotage ourselves with words-- I was reminded of my mother (a Texan) who is always "fixin'" to do something, as in "fixin' to make dinner" or "fixin' to go to the store." Language is so interesting. . .
Posted by: RevMelinda | February 13, 2009 at 11:00 PM
Yay! I'm so glad to hear that Moor will not be the last. I had heard the rumor, I think it was actually promotional material that came with book one and made it sound as though it was to be a trilogy. I was worried! Love the series, can't wait to read the next one.
Posted by: Becky Lejeune | February 15, 2009 at 12:39 PM