Blog A Go-Go

In which I say nice things about Virgo boys

It has been pointed out to me that with my fondness for Scorpios and Taureans, I have neglected a few of the other signs of the zodiac. True, but I did also issue the caveat that I love Scorpio and Taurus for the purposes of fiction. For the purpose of actual cohabitation, you really can't do better than a Virgo. (And if you can find a Virgo with Scorpio rising, like I did, you get the best of both worlds.) Forget what you may have heard about Virgo: cold, critical, dispassionate. For an unevolved, unloved Virgo those things may be true. But just like Scorpio, who can be extremely offputting on the page, Virgo has gotten a bad rap and deserves a closer look.

To begin with, Virgo is SOLID. They are earth signs, dependable as the day is long. (But because they are Mercury-ruled, they can also be chatty, a necessity for a Gemini girl like me.) They are detail-oriented. Nothing is too complicated for them to grasp or to complete. When they undertake a task, they do it, and they do it well. Virgo is thorough, in all the best ways. Virgo can be focused and passionate, particularly when they feel confident and loved.

Because of their slight tendency to hypochondria, it is seldom difficult to get them to see the doctor. They will schedule their own appointments and get to them on time because Virgo is punctual. He will not keep you waiting while he checks himself in the mirror one last time. (Ever tried to share a bathroom with a Leo?) They are boyishly good-looking, often far beyond the age at which their looks should have started to fade.

They are gentlemanly and sweet and the last word in chivalry without being overbearing. (A Virgo will open doors and carry suitcases, but will never attempt to order for you in a restaurant.) Unless they have extremely volatile rising signs, Virgos usually don't suffer from an excess of bad temper, and even if they carry some Aries or Scorpio, an angry Virgo is rarely something to fear. They can be very protective of the underdog, and fiercely loyal.

They like to clean. Because of their fondness for order and tidiness, they can be delightfully neat to live with. They seldom lose keys or wallets because they usually put things where they belong, and they are the first to pull out the vacuum cleaner. (Never underestimate the importance of living with a person who actually picks up after himself.)

They like to hang out with their women. Unlike an Aries or a Sagittarius who will happily abandon you for a pick-up basketball game or a cheap fare to Tahiti, Virgo will be perfectly happy to take you shopping or hang out at home and cook a good meal. (If his rising sign is Taurus, you may never get him to leave.)

They are devoted. Virgo is perhaps the least likely sign of the zodiac to cheat. Virgo doesn't even LOOK at other women, and they can be sweetly clueless about noticing when other women are looking at them.

They are intellectual. Virgo may enjoy watching a football game as much as the next guy, but he will also be equally comfortable discussing the role of Jane Austen in post-Enlightenment feminism. And that is just sexy. (And I will admit, as much as it KILLS me because I am highly competitive, my husband routinely beats me at chess. I hate that, but I also kind of love it. Don't tell him.) And if it surprises you to find the words "Virgo" and "sexy" in the same sentence, Richard Gere, Hugh Grant, Ryan Phillippe, David Duchovny, Keanu Reeves, Prince Harry--all Virgos.

They can surprise you. When I met my husband in college, he was fronting a rock band, with long hair and too much black leather. NOT your typical Virgo first impression. A lot of Virgos can hide their rock-solid dependability beneath a more flamboyant rising sign. Do not be misled. Stick around and dig a little deeper. For a girl who wants a bit of adventure but still wants to be able to pay the bills, a Virgo with Sag rising might be a delightful combination.

They are competent. Whatever needs doing, the Virgo man will find a way to get it done. He is invariably the go-to guy, and at the end of the day, there is NOTHING more important or attractive than knowing that whatever you want from this man, he will deliver.

(Note: if you read an astrology book that indicates that you and the object of your affection are not well-matched, take heart. My husband and I as a Virgo-Gemini pair have a tepid rating at best. It isn't until you run our natal charts that much stronger elements--such as our Scorpio-Libra rising signs--come into play.)

In which my psychic friend weighs in

After she read an earlier post regarding the angry Aries, my lovely and talented psychic friend, Janet Horton, e-mailed me with a few juicy tidbits. I quote:

A man with intense inner anger who keeps it from the world except for those once-a-year episodes in which he finally takes action to put the villain in his place (seduces the man's wife, ruins his business) is a Scorpio. The cooler the Scorpio is on the outside, the deeper and darker their anger can be on the inside. If your angry man is usually kind to all but truly dangerous when crossed, he's a Scorpio.

A man who has angry outbursts that alert wiser, cooler heads to his inner volcano is an Aries. Aries people keep more even-tempered folks around them on edge. Much easier to comply with an Aries' every wish than dare to serve less than hot coffee.

A man who cheerfully shrugs off barbs and veiled insults for months, then roars into a rage and goes for the literal jugular, is a Leo.

A man who is happy-go-lucky on the outside, quietly keeps track of insults on the inside, eventually challenges a repeat offender in rational discussion, then escalates to blows if necessary, is an Aquarius.

Very interesting indeed! (And I have to say, right on the mark for the people I know.) If you'd like some insight into your own inner life, drop by La Lanterna or Employees Only in NYC to get a private reading by Janet or contact her directly at tarotbyjanet@gmail.com

Janet's appearances:

La Lanterna

6-11PM Wed & Sun evenings

129 MacDougal Street (between W 3rd & W 4th Sts)

Greenwich Village, NYC 10012

212-529-5945

Employees Only Restaurant

12Noon-4PM Sat & Sun afternoons

510 Hudson Street (between Christopher & W 10th Sts)

West Village, NYC  10014

212-242-3021

In which we get mystical

I'm still noticing LOTS of hits on my blog from astrology searches. Fine by me--come in and have a seat and we'll talk about the stars. As I've noted before, I used to get hugely frustrated by Gemini profiles because they never seemed to fit me. The social, chatty part was always right, but it seemed like a few parts of my personality were missing. Then I started reading about rising signs and moons, and things fell into place. My Libra rising sign accounts for my monogamous tendency--well, I suppose after almost twenty years with the same man it's not so much a tendency as a compulsion--and my Pisces moon accounts for my habit of daydreaming and the nice steaming load of guilt I like to carry if I feel I haven't lived up to someone's expectations. Imagine my delight when I found a website that pairs your sun and moon together to show how your emotional core (guided by the moon) is supposed to influence the personality you show the world (your sun sign). Just click on your sun sign first, then your moon to create the pairing that fits you.

And while I know some of you are probably feeling skeptical, there was a fabulous little article in last month's "O" magazine detailing how doctors are finding connections between the season of your birth and specific health problems later in life. More and more astrologically-based medical studies are being funded, and the findings are intriguing. And if Oprah says it, it MUST be true, right? Sun/Moon Combinations

In which we astrologize

Yes, I realize that's probably not a real word, but it's Christmas Eve, and I expect about four people to actually read this blog entry. I've noted before that the astrology entries seem to be the most popular, and I wanted to post a link to an intriguing site I just found. It seems to be under construction; there are astrological profiles posted only for Aries through Scorpio, but what is there is pretty comprehensive. The site addresses the question of cusp astrology, a subject that has fascinated me since my daughter was born five hours shy of being a Sagittarius. (I'm not sure my obstetrician would have put off the induction by a day to keep her from being born a Scorpio, but I'm glad I didn't ask. Scorpio gets a bad rap, and I think that private, mysterious side is actually good for her since you really need something serious to offset a rising Gemini, no?)

Anyway, cusp astrology, like decanate astrology, is intricate. (Just to clarify, cusps are the six days or so that bridge the last days of one sign and the beginning of another. Some astrologers claim there is no such thing as a cusp, others claim they are the most significant part of the sign's journey. Each thirty day astrological period is divided into three decanates, or ten-day periods, each guided by a different planet. This is supposed to explain some of the differences between people born under the same sign. Last decanate Ariens, for example, are supposed to be funnier and more laid-back than first-decanates.) The meshing of two signs is a complicated business, and if some astrologers are to be believed, the cusp creates an entirely new sign--the Gemini-Cancerian, for one, a very different creature from a true Gemini.

Many astrology books never address the subject of cusps, whether because of the controversy or the complication, or perhaps simply for lack of space, but I can't help feeling they are doing a disservice to the poor folks born during those transitional times. The more deeply I dig into astrology, the more closely the profiles match my personality. (I have most of the usual Gemini traits, but some are noticeably absent--I believe in fidelity, I keep my word, and I have a very strong need for time alone to think about my work. Those characteristics do not fit Gemini at all until you factor in a Libra rising sign, the last decanate Gemini influence, and a Pisces moon which contribute monogamy, integrity, and a tendency to daydream.) Suddenly, my astrological profile is alarmingly accurate, and I wonder if the same is true for cuspians. They can combine the best of both signs, or the worst, and I think it is probably significant that people like Catherine the Great were born on the cusp--Aries-Taurean in her case. The interesting thing about cuspians is that it seems that their characters are the most unpredictable, and I wonder what determines whether they have a double dose of greatness or an extra helping of flaws. They are never the quintessential example of any sign, but rather a vastly interesting mixture of both. Read up and see for yourself. Constellation Chamber

In which we talk about Scorpio and Taurus men

Again. Periodically, I check the stats for my blog, and one thing it shows me is what search terms people have used to get here. (I can't see your addresses or your log-ins, for which I am entirely grateful. I do NOT want to know who was googling for very specific pictures of me, but I promise, you're not going to find them. Go try Cameron Diaz, mmmkay?) Anyway, the search terms that keep cropping up, second only to my name and my book titles, are Scorpio and Taurus men. There are women out there who really want to know how to attract or understand these guys, and from my blog stats, there are a LOT of them.

So, the caveat: what I know about astrology was learned for the purposes of fictional character development. Occasionally, I can peg a person's sign, but I do it for fun, not because I expect to instantly understand them better than their own mother. Personal astrology is dicey enough without adding in rising signs, moon signs, other planetary influences, childhood experiences, and plain old orneriness.

Having said that, I can tell you that I have read a lot of relationship astrology books, and they say almost precisely the same things about Scorpio and Taurus men. So here goes: Scorpio has already noticed you, whether you realize it or not. Scorpio likes women with a touch of the wicked, so wear black and red and the highest heels you've got. This is a sign that usually carries a strong occult interest, so feel free to discuss ghosts or your last Tarot reading. There is no need to worry about making a first move with Scorpio; they will have matters well in hand. What you MUST NOT do is prick his pride. Do not correct him, do not interrupt his stories. (Actually, that's good advice for attracting any man, isn't it?) Tease him, yes, but do not EVER let him think you will be indiscreet. Scorpio cannot bear the thought of his privacy being breached. You must be trustworthy. And remember, mystery is his M.O. Don't try too hard to get behind the walls, it will only come off as pushy. Let him invite you in, perhaps by being a little mysterious yourself. It's more interesting that way. (And almost impossible if you're a chatty sign like Gemini or Sagittarius. But we can try.)

Taurus is a little different. Both signs respond to beauty, although Scorpio is far likelier to appreciate a quirky jolie-laide as opposed to a conventionally attractive woman. The upside is Taurus is much likelier to appreciate curvaceousness. (He likes his food as much as you do, so don't be surprised if he's got a little belly of his own. Don't worry; even if he's sporting a bit of extra weight, he will be SOLID underneath, just like a bovine.) Taurus appreciates luxury. Remember, you're dealing with a Venus-ruled sign, so the trappings around you should be as sumptuous as you can make them. Wear something touchable--cashmere, satin, velvet, well-worn denim--Bulls are extremely tactile. And be patient. Taureans do NOT move quickly, and he may well pursue you so discreetly and so slowly you are forced into making the first move out of sheer frustration. Taurus doesn't mind this at all. (Try it with an Aries and you will probably be out the door before you can even figure out what went wrong.)

Ultimately though, whether you're trying to attract a Scorpio or a Taurus, the cute guy who serves your coffee at Starbucks or the devilishly handsome accountant who prepares your taxes, the trick is: there is no trick. Attraction is NOT about him. It's about YOU. If you are comfortable in your own skin and feel fabulous about yourself and make a point of looking for the fabulousness in everybody else, you will attract just about anybody you want to attract, and probably a few you don't. Sophia Loren once said, "Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful."

So believe in your own power of attraction, and forget trying to work out his natal chart. It's exhausting, and it involves MATH. The downside to natal charts is this: what if they are bleak and unpromising? Are you going to ditch a gorgeous, talented, funny guy who can cook and change the oil in your car just because his moon is in opposition to your rising sign? Of course not. Read about his sign; it's diverting and it's fun to see where people fit into the stereotypes. But no book is ever going to fully explain the individual guy you are hoping to attract. The only sure method is to rely on yourself. So for every astrology book you consult, make a purchase from La Petite Coquette or read a novel or go to bellydancing class or paint a watercolor or enter a Texas hold-em tournament. Because in the end, men are usually most attracted to women who are not looking for them at all.

In which I talk about astrology in general

My feelings about astrology in general are mixed. Logically, it seems impossible that any creature as complex as a human being could be explained by an arbitrary set of rules governed by the stars. As useful a tool as astrology is for developing characters and conflict, it seems just too simplistic to divide people into twelve types and call it a day.

However, I will say that the more I read about astrology, the more interested I become. I mentioned before that I'm an empiricist. I like to observe and to experience, and I can tell you that for many years I read the newspaper horoscopes and the little paperback guides to star signs and laughed. I fit almost nothing of the typical Gemini profile except for a lively disposition. (Well, that and frequent lung complaints, a notorious Gemini weakness.) Then I happened to run a free natal chart and discovered my rising sign was Libra. That explained a lot. Add to that a Pisces moon, and everything fell into place. The flightiness of Gemini is tempered by Libra's love of hearth and home, and there is a Piscean tendency to dreaminess that is familiar to everyone who knows me. I have the Libran outrage at injustice and the Piscean love of water.

The other planets provided some interesting insights as well. I have Mars, Mercury, and Venus in Gemini, with Saturn, True Node, and Chiron in Aries, all of which give very specific information. I could go on for days. Even the physical descriptions fit me. That natal chart read like a blueprint of my personality. One of my friends was amazed to discover that my sun, moon, and rising are all THREE dual astrological signs. (The Twins, the Scales, and the Fish are the only paired signs, and all three indicate a certain duality of nature. In astrological shorthand, that means if you don't like this mood, stick around five minutes. It will probably change.)

As far as predictive astrology goes, the blurbs in newspapers have never been accurate for me. There is, however, one website I read that posts monthy horoscopes, and I have observed that more often than not, this particular astrologer is correct. Why, I couldn't say. It's human nature to look for patterns, so it's quite likely that I am remembering the events that coincide with her predictions and blithely dismissing the rest. All I know is she predicted a windfall for Gemini in November and that the good news would be related by someone empowered to work on the Gemini's behalf. A day or two after I read that, my agent phoned to tell me my very first royalty check is on its way. Coincidence? Perhaps. But the rest of my horoscope for 2007 is very, very good. If you'd like to run your own free natal report, try Astrolabe. Astrolabe Natal Chart  If you want a good, general book, try Joanna Martine Woolfolk's The Only Astrology Book You'll Ever Need. I met Ms. Woolfolk at the BookExpo last year and she was charm personified. The book itself is startlingly accurate. It comes with an interactive CD-ROM that I still haven't had a chance to play with.

Revision count: 200 pages put to bed, so I am officially a third of the way through. Everything hurts, and I keep waking up because my dreams are astonishingly vivid. God, I love my work.

In which I give equal time to Leo and Aries

It has been brought to my attention that in lauding the many lovely qualities of Scorpio and Taurus men, I left a few fellows out, namely 5/6 of the zodiac. A few readers have made cases for Leo and Aries, and I promised to address the omission. Here goes: for purposes of fiction, I need very strong, dynamic male characters. Leo and Aries certainly fit the bill. Just think of their totemic animals, a sleek, roaring lion, and a tough, aggressive ram. From totems alone, you can guess why most of the other signs don't end up being quite suitable for my needs. But Leo and Aries should be natural choices, right?

Not quite. The difficulty in choosing a character's astrology is that I'm looking for the archetype of the sign, a sign that is not easily tempered by its rising sign, or other circumstances. (Honestly, if I started working up rising signs and moon signs, I'd never get any writing done. It's bad enough that I also draw maps of their towns and blueprints of their houses.) So, I'm looking for signs that are by nature confident, assertive, and secure. I am not looking for the light, easy charm of a Sagittarius or the deep, Neptune-based emotional core of a Pisces. I need rugged and authoritative. Leo and Aries are both champions at this. They are both extremely competitive and passionate, and you will not find an athletic match for Aries, while Leo offers warmth and security.

For me though, Leo also comes laden with baggage. I had a Leo grandfather and saw firsthand that the Lion's generosity and a general grumpiness can go hand-in-hand. Leos have always been problematic for me to negotiate, and dealing with a Leo character would just be too much. (I'm sure there are loads of extremely lovely Leo men. I'm speaking strictly of my own personal experiences.)

Aries, on the other hand, is very nearly perfect for fiction. They are compelling and sensual, yet there is always the slightest edge of a temper to make things interesting. They can also be tremendous motivators. My Arian editor is capable of pushing me quite successfully to do things I never imagined possible, and she does it all with a quietly confident air of a woman who knows precisely what she's doing. She is glamorous and witty, also Arian characteristics, and I'm pretty sure I want to be her when I grow up, except I am entirely too Geminian to make that work. I console myself with the thought that we always have amazing conversation, which brings me to the only reason I don't write Aries men: they talk.

I don't mean that as a criticism; it's actually one of the qualities I like best about them. In person, they are fabulous conversationalists and are more willing than most men to open up about themselves, wonderful qualities in a friend or lover, disastrous in a character. I need my male characters to offer up as little as possible. You simply cannot beat a Scorpio for an air of mystery, and Taurus gives him a run for his money. This keeps my female characters on their toes and provides for some very interesting conflict. It also just occurs to me that having written a Scorpio male for so long in Brisbane, it will be tremendous fun to change things up a bit in the next book. The story is darker, so Scorpio is the obvious choice for my new male lead as well. Because of that, I feel compelled to avoid it altogether and put in a nice, juicy Taurus. If Aries wasn't so boyishly sunny, it would have worked quite well in this case.

In any event, working out the astrology is a pleasurable pre-writing exercise for me, just like planning their homes or creating a collage board of images related to the story. I worried once that what seemed like idle play was indulgent and frivolous, and that "serious" writers wouldn't engage in such silliness. And what I found was that I very nearly crippled myself in the writing process. I am much more visual than I suspected, and having the collage board hanging at eye level gives me constant visual cues about faces, landscapes, animals, and settings. I find I am more descriptive in my writing when I can actually SEE it.

In the same way, I find I understand the conflicts of my characters much better when I can boil them down to the usual conflicts between certain opposing signs. (Another good reason for me not to use Aries or Leo men. My females are often Geminis, a superb match for either sign. Too much heated attraction, not enough direct conflict.) Honestly, any other system of determining personal conflict would work. Myers-Briggs tests, Chinese astrology, literary archetypes--whatever system sorts people into opposing categories can help you get a handle on how to work dissension into fiction. It can help you to understand why your character would do something or why they would refuse. And if, God forbid, you're completely blocked on where to go next, a systematic understanding of your characters can help nudge you along. (Got a Taurus girl? Take her shopping. Got a Monkey boy? Throw him a party.) In any event, writing should be pleasurable, and exploring the astrology of a character is FUN. If nothing else, it gives me an excuse to collect books on relationship astrology. I'm at 19 and counting.

In which I celebrate Scorpio men

When last we spoke about Taurus men, I promised equal time to the Scorpio archetype, for good or evil. So let's draw the drapes and pour a nice glass of wine. This is going to take some time.

The first word that comes to mind when assessing a Scorpio man is "danger". (Actually, it's "sex", but I'm trying to keep this tidy.) To understand this, you have only to think of his totemic animal. In the same way that a Taurean will exhibit bovine placidity and aggression in turns, the Scorpio lurks, waiting for the proper time to come out of the shadows and make himself known. Even if his rising sign is a gregarious one--Gemini or Sagittarius--and he is chatty, make no mistake: you will know NOTHING about this man he does not want you to know. He is obsessive about his privacy, and what is more alluring to a writer than a character with secrets? His ruling planet was Pluto, and although the astrological world remains divided after its declassification as a planet, you only have to consider the mythology to realize it still works. Pluto was the god of the underworld, master of the dead. We're off to an interesting start, no?

Another intriguing facet of Scorpio is their determination. They have a laser-like focus, and if they decide to accomplish something, it is as good as done. While Taurus may mask his ambition with an air of bonhomie, Scorpio is ruthlessly overt. He is capable of crushing you and smiling while he does it. In fact, ruthless is a word often associated with Scorpio, along with other words like obsessive, cruel, tyrannical. There are more serial killers born under the sign of Scorpio than any other. We ought to be running away, shrieking, shouldn't we?

But we don't. Because for all his twisted, dark places, Scorpio is an outrageously compelling man. If there is a little bit of the cavewoman lurking within your modern, liberated woman's heart--and honestly, there probably IS--the idea of being dominated just a smidge is intoxicating. There is an inevitability about Scorpio that is just as unsettling as Taurus' uncertainty. With one you know you're as good as had, with the other, you never know where you stand. Equally maddening, and equally exciting, even to an evolved, twenty-first century girl. The primal aspects of these astrological pairings is what makes them timeless, and that universality is why readers respond to them.

Scorpio has something else in common with Taurus, and that's money. They can be very good at acquiring it, but it is worth remembering that as an earth sign, Taurus is grounded. Scorpio is a water sign, driven by emotion, as much as he tries to hide it. Taurus will want pleasure because it feels good; Scorpio needs it to survive. There is something about the Scorpion's romantic relationships that are a bit more elemental, for all the Taurean earthiness. It should also be noted that, again like Taurus, Scorpio is capable of compiling a little black book the size of the Encyclopedia Britannica. He is also entirely capable of settling into perfect fidelity after a rousing bachelorhood. And as far as infidelity, Scorpio is far likelier to kill you than cheat on you. (Just kidding.)

But Scorpio, like their Taurean brothers, holds EPIC grudges. Neither forgets nor forgives. Again, good fodder for fiction, tricky to navigate if you're a Sagittarius girl who just wants to have fun. Strictly speaking, I would never pair a male Scorpio character with a female Sag. All of my female characters have Gemini or Libra tendencies, which I just realized is because I am a Gemini with Libra rising. (And a Pisces moon. If you're keeping track, that's about SIX personalities.) There is a push-me-pull-you battle within every Gemini, and it plays out quite nicely in conflict with either Taurus or Scorpio, both of which provide deliciously problematic matches. (I suppose this relates to a confession I heard another writer make that at five-foot ten she cannot write a short heroine. She literally doesn't see the world from that angle. So I write from the astrological perspective I know. I'm sure there's an article here somewhere.)

Back to the Scorpio men at hand, and why they are so compelling: Scorpio is not just symbolized by the scorpion. He is represented by the Eagle as well, and that is because there are nobler qualities there. Forget the scary sexual sadist that all the astrology books warn you about. Scorpio can be wildly charming--think Gerard Butler on any talk show. They can be surprisingly sympathetic, and if you plan a murder, Scorpio will help you hide the body, no questions asked. They are capable of tremendous loyalty, and they take very good care of what is theirs. They simply do not SHARE. Rousing Scorpio jealousy is as willfully stupid as pricking a Taurus temper; you better have a death wish or good running shoes because he will hunt you down. Pair that notorious jealousy with a female character who is naturally flirtatious--Geminis will flirt with your dog--and you have a deliciously combustible situation.

All the same caveats as the Taurus post should apply here. My own personal experiences with Scorpios have been tremendously positive, in spite of my Geminian loquaciousness, which should drive them to distraction. The Scorpios I use when I write are of my own invention, astrology book archetypes with a writerly twist to make them even more delectable. And in case you're curious, yes, Brisbane is a Scorpio. All those secrets? How could he not be?

In which I say nice things about Taurus men

In which I say nice things about Taurus men. Okay, not actual Taurus men, but the ideal Taurus man. (Everything you're about to read is based solely on hypotheticals, mmmmkay?) I get lots of questions about how I create characters. The creative process is one of the most mysterious phenomena you will ever encounter, and frankly, I try not to analyze it too deeply. It's alchemy, plain and simple, and if you want to know precisely how to turn base metal into gold, you will have to find your own philosopher's stone because mine only works for me.

However, I can tell you one little trick of mine that seems to fascinate people whenever I mention it: I often work my characters' astrological signs into their personalities, and since I write dominant men, they are usually Scorpio or Taurus. Why? I'm glad you asked. Presuming a broadminded interest in the subject--and I make no claims to the authenticity of what I'm about to tell you at all--Taurus men are a fascinating subject. For the purposes of fiction, they offer an embarrassment of riches. To begin with, they are the quintessential strong, sturdy types, with the lovely broad shoulders and solid build that evoke creatures of myth. Remember Europa? Riding across the waves, clinging to the strong bull-back of Zeus? We will draw a veil over Pasiphae. Her attraction to the bull was only TOO obvious.

In any event, they are deeply male in spite of their ruling planet of Venus. The love goddess' sway over them is evident in their love of beauty, and they do love it, deeply. They are keenly materialistic, but not showy or profligate. They have a gift for affluence, an appreciation of life's more refined pleasures, although they seldom give the appearance of ambition. They seldom give the appearance of anything other than good-natured indolence, but that is our mistake for not looking closely enough.

And you ought to look closely, because any Bull is looking at YOU. They are an earth sign, the first in the zodiac calendar, and the most deeply grounded. This means all physical pleasures--food, wine, music, sex--are their playground. Like their Venusian cousins, Libra, they seem lazy, but Taureans simply know that what they want will usually walk right up their front path and through the garden gate without them ever lifting a finger to get it. They do not make power plays until they are certain they will be successful. They may mask their ambition or their desire under a happy-go-lucky boyishness, or they may lay back with an air of smoldering watchfulness.

Either way, Taurus is NOT a fast mover. This is not a man who will whisk you off your feet within minutes of meeting you. He will proceed cautiously, glacially, even, and that can be an extremely annoying prospect for a girl accustomed to the rush. Annoying, and deeply exciting. Even without Scorpio's air of secrecy, the Taurus can create an uncertainty that forces his female companion into making the first move out of sheer desperation. (This assuages his tender ego while assuring he didn't have to lift a finger to accomplish the seduction. A purely win-win situation for him.)

Since I don't write books of the bodice-ripping variety, I will skim over what comes next. Let's just say that Taurus likes to take his time for a LONG time and leave it at that. He is also extremely unlikely to scoop up his clothes and dash away. Bulls are cuddlers and once they've had you, the general rule of thumb is you belong to them. They will roll over, go to sleep, and NEVER LEAVE. Although they can amass quite a collection of headboard notches, they tend to be extremely faithful companions, settling in quite happily to cozy, luxurious domesticity with someone who appreciates their many fine qualities. (Did you know they cook?) Cashmere, vintage cognac, and a nice fire--what's not to love?

Plenty, actually. Have you ever watched a bull in a field? Calmly surveying his domain? He is the biggest thing in the pasture and he knows it. Every cow within sight is twitching her tail for him. He doesn't even have to trot near for her estrus cycle to signal that it's time to get busy. Same with human Bulls. Since they are so often pursued, they can be a bit spoiled, and if they are overly-indulged, they can be impossible. In a worst case scenario, a Taurus whose better instincts have not been nurtured may give in to his lowest impulses. A lazy, hedonistic, materialistic lothario with an explosive temper is the result and THAT is an interesting character.

No matter how debauched a Taurus becomes, there is always something finer lurking behind those big bovine eyes, and exploring his possibilities can fill an entire book. The potential for conflict is unlimited. Picture this man, attractive and confident, utterly secure within himself and completely disinclined to change, bowled over by a tiny Gemini pixie whose TinkerBell energy snaps and crackles and whistles around him. He wouldn't know which way to look, and a disconcerted Bull is a Bull looking for a fight. (Think of the effect of a rippling red cape in front of him.) Or what about a lovely, laid-back Libra who shares his penchant for the finer things? Ultimately, she's a perfectionist and the one thing Taurus cannot bear is being nagged.

In both cases, traditional astrology books generally rate Taurus/Gemini or Taurus/Libra matches as problematic, but not impossible, a perfect recipe for a fictional relationship. Too easily settled, like Taurus and Cancer, and there would be five hundred pages of gentle discussion on whether the Barolo really goes with veal. Too combative, like Taurus and Leo, and pretty soon the reader just wants them to get AWAY from each other. Disastrous.

I should point out that the lesser qualities of Taurus are not something I have personally experienced. The Taureans I know, men and women, are all generous to a fault and extremely enjoyable company. (I'm saying this because it's true, but also because the Taurean temper is legendary. The generally accepted wisdom is when a Bull is roused, you should practice your duck and cover drill until it is OVER. Then approach slowly and with caution, preferably armed with a good stiff drink of excellent vintage and substantial snacks. When they're nibbling and sipping, offer a neck rub and don't stop. The neck and throat are the Taurus erogenous zone, but also the seat of most of their tension and the source of many of their health problems. I hear sage tea works wonders for soothing them.)

In the end, the Taurus personality is a blueprint for an engaging, attractive, and intriguing man. (Did I mention they are the most nurturing toward women of all men of the zodiac?) The Taurus man is good-humored, kind, and if he wears an air of mystery, it is entirely accidental. Unlike the Scorpio. But we'll save him for next time.