Blog A Go-Go

In which we talk about Scorpio and Taurus men

Again. Periodically, I check the stats for my blog, and one thing it shows me is what search terms people have used to get here. (I can't see your addresses or your log-ins, for which I am entirely grateful. I do NOT want to know who was googling for very specific pictures of me, but I promise, you're not going to find them. Go try Cameron Diaz, mmmkay?) Anyway, the search terms that keep cropping up, second only to my name and my book titles, are Scorpio and Taurus men. There are women out there who really want to know how to attract or understand these guys, and from my blog stats, there are a LOT of them.

So, the caveat: what I know about astrology was learned for the purposes of fictional character development. Occasionally, I can peg a person's sign, but I do it for fun, not because I expect to instantly understand them better than their own mother. Personal astrology is dicey enough without adding in rising signs, moon signs, other planetary influences, childhood experiences, and plain old orneriness.

Having said that, I can tell you that I have read a lot of relationship astrology books, and they say almost precisely the same things about Scorpio and Taurus men. So here goes: Scorpio has already noticed you, whether you realize it or not. Scorpio likes women with a touch of the wicked, so wear black and red and the highest heels you've got. This is a sign that usually carries a strong occult interest, so feel free to discuss ghosts or your last Tarot reading. There is no need to worry about making a first move with Scorpio; they will have matters well in hand. What you MUST NOT do is prick his pride. Do not correct him, do not interrupt his stories. (Actually, that's good advice for attracting any man, isn't it?) Tease him, yes, but do not EVER let him think you will be indiscreet. Scorpio cannot bear the thought of his privacy being breached. You must be trustworthy. And remember, mystery is his M.O. Don't try too hard to get behind the walls, it will only come off as pushy. Let him invite you in, perhaps by being a little mysterious yourself. It's more interesting that way. (And almost impossible if you're a chatty sign like Gemini or Sagittarius. But we can try.)

Taurus is a little different. Both signs respond to beauty, although Scorpio is far likelier to appreciate a quirky jolie-laide as opposed to a conventionally attractive woman. The upside is Taurus is much likelier to appreciate curvaceousness. (He likes his food as much as you do, so don't be surprised if he's got a little belly of his own. Don't worry; even if he's sporting a bit of extra weight, he will be SOLID underneath, just like a bovine.) Taurus appreciates luxury. Remember, you're dealing with a Venus-ruled sign, so the trappings around you should be as sumptuous as you can make them. Wear something touchable--cashmere, satin, velvet, well-worn denim--Bulls are extremely tactile. And be patient. Taureans do NOT move quickly, and he may well pursue you so discreetly and so slowly you are forced into making the first move out of sheer frustration. Taurus doesn't mind this at all. (Try it with an Aries and you will probably be out the door before you can even figure out what went wrong.)

Ultimately though, whether you're trying to attract a Scorpio or a Taurus, the cute guy who serves your coffee at Starbucks or the devilishly handsome accountant who prepares your taxes, the trick is: there is no trick. Attraction is NOT about him. It's about YOU. If you are comfortable in your own skin and feel fabulous about yourself and make a point of looking for the fabulousness in everybody else, you will attract just about anybody you want to attract, and probably a few you don't. Sophia Loren once said, "Nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the belief that she is beautiful."

So believe in your own power of attraction, and forget trying to work out his natal chart. It's exhausting, and it involves MATH. The downside to natal charts is this: what if they are bleak and unpromising? Are you going to ditch a gorgeous, talented, funny guy who can cook and change the oil in your car just because his moon is in opposition to your rising sign? Of course not. Read about his sign; it's diverting and it's fun to see where people fit into the stereotypes. But no book is ever going to fully explain the individual guy you are hoping to attract. The only sure method is to rely on yourself. So for every astrology book you consult, make a purchase from La Petite Coquette or read a novel or go to bellydancing class or paint a watercolor or enter a Texas hold-em tournament. Because in the end, men are usually most attracted to women who are not looking for them at all.

In which I celebrate Scorpio men

When last we spoke about Taurus men, I promised equal time to the Scorpio archetype, for good or evil. So let's draw the drapes and pour a nice glass of wine. This is going to take some time.

The first word that comes to mind when assessing a Scorpio man is "danger". (Actually, it's "sex", but I'm trying to keep this tidy.) To understand this, you have only to think of his totemic animal. In the same way that a Taurean will exhibit bovine placidity and aggression in turns, the Scorpio lurks, waiting for the proper time to come out of the shadows and make himself known. Even if his rising sign is a gregarious one--Gemini or Sagittarius--and he is chatty, make no mistake: you will know NOTHING about this man he does not want you to know. He is obsessive about his privacy, and what is more alluring to a writer than a character with secrets? His ruling planet was Pluto, and although the astrological world remains divided after its declassification as a planet, you only have to consider the mythology to realize it still works. Pluto was the god of the underworld, master of the dead. We're off to an interesting start, no?

Another intriguing facet of Scorpio is their determination. They have a laser-like focus, and if they decide to accomplish something, it is as good as done. While Taurus may mask his ambition with an air of bonhomie, Scorpio is ruthlessly overt. He is capable of crushing you and smiling while he does it. In fact, ruthless is a word often associated with Scorpio, along with other words like obsessive, cruel, tyrannical. There are more serial killers born under the sign of Scorpio than any other. We ought to be running away, shrieking, shouldn't we?

But we don't. Because for all his twisted, dark places, Scorpio is an outrageously compelling man. If there is a little bit of the cavewoman lurking within your modern, liberated woman's heart--and honestly, there probably IS--the idea of being dominated just a smidge is intoxicating. There is an inevitability about Scorpio that is just as unsettling as Taurus' uncertainty. With one you know you're as good as had, with the other, you never know where you stand. Equally maddening, and equally exciting, even to an evolved, twenty-first century girl. The primal aspects of these astrological pairings is what makes them timeless, and that universality is why readers respond to them.

Scorpio has something else in common with Taurus, and that's money. They can be very good at acquiring it, but it is worth remembering that as an earth sign, Taurus is grounded. Scorpio is a water sign, driven by emotion, as much as he tries to hide it. Taurus will want pleasure because it feels good; Scorpio needs it to survive. There is something about the Scorpion's romantic relationships that are a bit more elemental, for all the Taurean earthiness. It should also be noted that, again like Taurus, Scorpio is capable of compiling a little black book the size of the Encyclopedia Britannica. He is also entirely capable of settling into perfect fidelity after a rousing bachelorhood. And as far as infidelity, Scorpio is far likelier to kill you than cheat on you. (Just kidding.)

But Scorpio, like their Taurean brothers, holds EPIC grudges. Neither forgets nor forgives. Again, good fodder for fiction, tricky to navigate if you're a Sagittarius girl who just wants to have fun. Strictly speaking, I would never pair a male Scorpio character with a female Sag. All of my female characters have Gemini or Libra tendencies, which I just realized is because I am a Gemini with Libra rising. (And a Pisces moon. If you're keeping track, that's about SIX personalities.) There is a push-me-pull-you battle within every Gemini, and it plays out quite nicely in conflict with either Taurus or Scorpio, both of which provide deliciously problematic matches. (I suppose this relates to a confession I heard another writer make that at five-foot ten she cannot write a short heroine. She literally doesn't see the world from that angle. So I write from the astrological perspective I know. I'm sure there's an article here somewhere.)

Back to the Scorpio men at hand, and why they are so compelling: Scorpio is not just symbolized by the scorpion. He is represented by the Eagle as well, and that is because there are nobler qualities there. Forget the scary sexual sadist that all the astrology books warn you about. Scorpio can be wildly charming--think Gerard Butler on any talk show. They can be surprisingly sympathetic, and if you plan a murder, Scorpio will help you hide the body, no questions asked. They are capable of tremendous loyalty, and they take very good care of what is theirs. They simply do not SHARE. Rousing Scorpio jealousy is as willfully stupid as pricking a Taurus temper; you better have a death wish or good running shoes because he will hunt you down. Pair that notorious jealousy with a female character who is naturally flirtatious--Geminis will flirt with your dog--and you have a deliciously combustible situation.

All the same caveats as the Taurus post should apply here. My own personal experiences with Scorpios have been tremendously positive, in spite of my Geminian loquaciousness, which should drive them to distraction. The Scorpios I use when I write are of my own invention, astrology book archetypes with a writerly twist to make them even more delectable. And in case you're curious, yes, Brisbane is a Scorpio. All those secrets? How could he not be?